Distorted Visions

These days I feel the tension as if my gumline had a mouth of its own.

Inflamed and spewing inanimate puss, I can’t dream of another time when getting to the bottom of who we really are is obscured into pernicious laughter and disruptive acts right down to the bottom of our souls - like what the conception of Jezebel blindly reflects

inside our own minds

seeeking to twist lives into forgetting what was sacred since childhood, and what our own experience tells us.

It seems we’ll have to continue reviving the same both putrid and enrapturingly familiar stories just to transcend them, though who is it really that is creating the battles in which we find our selves flailing and suffering and receding into ourselves to figure out what the fuck to even do about it?

What can we, we the mulititudes of people that have no actual power in what is happening,

Who are lucidly witnessing the possible destruction of whole communities, of rights to be whole in ourselves and our various ways of being and living,

In the great experiment of American democracy which we’ve never fully achieved and subjugated so many in the name of “freedom”,

And which we’ve made the most progress in the past half-century;

What can we do when everything might be taken away tomorrow?

What do we think and feel when the world is thrust into a period of conflict and terror which we’ve never seen in the modern interconnected 8 billion-strong community?

I can't fight anybody I didn't already love,

And I can’t see how it’s possible to make it through what’s coming without

overthrowing vengeance.

Maybe this is the period when the confused retaliation of distorted minds

is forced to lay itself out flat

for clarifying sunlight, for retribution of what Nature has been trying to tell us for 8 generations.

I’d like to think the larger task is left to those who have somehow curated more sober spirits to do the improbable unwinding of our worst sins against ourselves and the environment around us, however heralding that may be.

In the meantime, that twitch in my eye feels as if it’s turning towards greater spasms

of truths untested, and every person

becomes spiritually suspected

Of what they’re not willing to do

To protect our most sacred truth

That none of us are free, until all of us are.

P.S.: sometimes wishing for god to bless us doesn’t require any particular faith, only a renunciation of any individual arrogance that we know what is going to happen or can control it ourselves

and to appeal to something greater, something truly mysterious. It may not be there, but there is something more than any one of us can fully comprehend.

call it the universe, call it yahweh, call it an inexpressible verb, whatever it is…it is beckoned from what we cannot imagine or accept or process, and what we all experience apart and together.

There’s something going on here.